It is often said that a construction project is only as good as the materials from which it is made. This is certainly true in hammock installation. There are very real dangers in poor installation techniques, dangers that can cause you serious bodily harm. We will offer a few caveats in this article that I hope will keep you safe and happily hanging.
First let me tell you a story. A fellow I know decided to hang a beautiful Nicaraguan hammock in the living room, or parlor actually, of his vintage home in Mt. Dora, Florida. We will call him Bob to protect his innocent family from the shame of association. Now Bob is one of those guys who is just handy enough to be dangerous, to which characteristic he adds a pugnacious refusal to heed wise counsel (of the sort a sagacious fellow such as myself might offer). How, you may ask, did he proceed?
Armed with what he claimed was a stud finding tapping technique he tapped about until he found a spot on the wall which was to his liking. When an exploratory pilot hole curled out hundred year old wood shavings he knew he had it made. He completed his drilling, screwed in his eye lags, and installed his hammock. It was a thing of beauty.
Satisfied that his work was finished he poured himself a frosted mug of Sam Adams porter and admired his handiwork. I did not mention this before, but Bob’s love of porter and fine meats had given him a very ample girth. It was delicacy on my part, but now the truth must out. Watching his youngsters swinging happily on the newly installed hammock provoked more thirst, so he poured himself another. After this second libation he felt a soul stirring call to join his offspring on the hammock—after all it was the Family size. No sooner had he settled his bulk into its inviting cocoon than a horrible nail pulling, wood splitting, plaster smashing shrieking sound occurred, followed by a massive thump and cries of distress emanating from the cloud of aged plaster dust in the poor man’s parlor. Fortunately no one was seriously hurt, except for the wall, which now sported a gaping hole and protruding splinters of lathe.
Bob had drilled into the lathe instead of the stud, which illustrates a very serious point. All installations must be done into solid structural members, whether they are wall studs, porch beams, posts or concrete walls. It must be structural. It must be sound. And you must do it right.
Happy hanging!
